Thursday, August 6, 2015

what happen to E

Go for my plan.
Suppose to be excited, happy and happy vibes coming from all the corner.
Mr.E visited since ever tendered.
What E really want?
Was following very frequent recently.
In and out.
No clue.
Need help.


Saturday, August 30, 2014

sad day

A sad day.
Went for 3rd time followup medication again for my leg.
But he didnt talk to me nor even a glimpse at me.
Didnt feel good and mood brings me down.
I know 90%out of 100% it wont turn out for us but theres still a bit of disappointment.
Hard to get someone into but mayb just a pass-byer.
#foreveralone =/

Saturday, August 23, 2014


First time, not much interaction but enough to touch my feelings.
Gentleman n very concern to every single thing
[Maybe thats your job requirement]
Second attempt,i think thats you from there and the feeling i got still the same. More interaction. Kinda glad about that.
Oh gosh!! Keep falling, keep keep falling...
Wish that u r not attached 
Wish that u have the same feeling like me as well

Sunday, August 10, 2014

flashback keep flashing-back

I know i shouldnt but the mind keep processing the same thing like an old class player.
A stranger couldnt be wrong to be named as.
Regret also the most thing i was blaming myself.
No any clues no hint nor anything to continue.
Leave down, moved.
When the next R coming ?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

life stages

After got a flash thru my past blog post only realise that i wrote whenever mood down time..
Yes, this time as well. Emotional attack.
Met someone and get to know that is a kinda of European-thinking elder which i felt is kinda lonely and wish to get along and talk with.
From there, make me think of when future i come to an age and the same things happen.
I cherish the love from family and friends but when ages strike, friends have their own family and family grows old..I Have not think about a marriage life for my own so these thing always come to my mind.
Feeling loved by friends and family is awesome but whenever it comes to funeral or lost really made me feel tears-ing in my heart.

Love is so much important in life and it dont wait anyone.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


end of 2013 stories and here we come to 2014
most of the people always and were talking bout new year resolution
sorry to say that i never have one
no idea bout it anyways

the feeling is like a normal day with no work nor school
thats it
maybe it will sounds negative but this is what i really felt

no idea what really happen since E visited and it was like never leave
the mood is still swing like nobody business
maybe out of partner that counts

hate being that frankly
the other way of thinking is a hard step to go for it as stories that go through
what a life


Wednesday, December 25, 2013


mood swing like auntie visit
it doesnt goes better
seems nothing got my intention

left sigh alone
also air flowing to be heard

nothing can be spoken
nor describe
great mind set pushed in need
as well as so-called positive energy


Sunday, December 22, 2013

blue moon

Emotional attack once a while.
Yes,having it right now.
I don't know it happen because of tiring.
so DOWN.
feel like crying but no tears could be tearing off.
kinda bit of suffering.
how i wish someone can be there for me... ...
foreveralone* ='[

Monday, September 16, 2013

what's next

I really cant get use to what im now..
communication is always what im not into it and now believe it or not im in that thingy thing for.
im trying hard..
but it just so stress out.
a barista liked work is giving me an opportunity.
A SKILL WORK which i love the most.
what should i do?
i really dont like SALES... and im not happy at all...
im struggling everyday thinking of it.
big big ****sigh
should i or shouldn't
why is it f and b line salary is so fucking low?
why couldnt i get more?

Sunday, August 11, 2013

emotional attack

Ever since after my interview, not to admit im in worried every single day.
To go into a completely strange environment some more which is so not my PLACE and im not comfortable with it.
I dont have a single clue on those thing.
It seems to be easy but im start to worried.
And all those freaking things make me emotional.
There seems like a rock place in my heart.
I feel so heavy.
Maybe this is just a normal feeling to face the new things and environment but at this moment i feel like crying.
This is the first Wh question i always asked myself.

Why is it so hard to step out.
Why is it so hard to adapt
Why must i do this and that
Why , why , why

I hate these kind of question comes into my mind whenever it happened to me.
It seems like im such a loser in my life.
I've told myself to be strong.
But always sometimes there is so much situation u need to face.
Not everybody seems to be so happy-go-lucky type and also not everybody are those who are easy going with.

Dear God, Pls give me strength to overcome this. Please. 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

believe,should i

a friend just broke up with her boyfi and these day there's couple friends who asking about relationship thingy.

as we were talking about another half of our life a.k.a partner.
i believe that love will come to you as you believe.
i have try to go for a relationship which not till the LOVE stage and so i had realize it really cant work out with just like or some people so called a oklah.
i just cant. sorry to say that.

saw alot of situation, types of couple and so on. if i say im not afraid to falling in love then im totally fooling you. i scare and easily feeling insecure and i do trust my intuition.maybe it will be bad but sometimes it is a fact till you believe.
although i enjoy my single life but somehow i do really wish there is someone who can be with me like a very very very best friend. mr.B where are you? when are you coming to me? =P

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

accept , go through and gained ?

im scare i cant able to handle it good, but please GOD,be with me.
help me to go through this...

Saturday, July 20, 2013

another stage

Holla readers. sorry for abandoned my blog so long. at a sudden urge, i view back my blog and decided to write something today.

After a year plus of Experience. the kitchen life is about to come to the end.

I've decided to change my field. to leave a place which full of laughter, hard work, tears and almost i can called it a HOME place of workplace im so reluctant to leave. it fill with love in it but too bad the place and
environment gone worst.

I have no idea whether is it the right choice of choosing these. Anyway, i just feel like trying it. At least or maybe it get me a better life perhaps.

I don't know why am i having so many thing on my mind whenever im writing blog. And many times end up in a mess. So, if this happened and i will go off. =/ forgive me.

Friday, July 20, 2012


i dreamed that you passed away in an car accident. so REal. so scary. so sad. i hope it wont happen to u, my fren. finger crossed.


i know my blog is soooo dead. everyday work for 12-14 hours. dont even have enough time to rest. and now, Ramadhan is just the next day. die real soooon. TT

Sunday, June 10, 2012

what am i having

Proud of BBF from getting the study trip to California from her competition. Happy for her.
How i wish i could have that opportunity of people giving a hand and bunch of opportunity around. Stress having but good experience. I can feel that. Envy alot. Lots of thinking on my mind before and after. I hesitated from what i want and i don't know what i want already. Im lost. Im not happy to myself. ='[

Friday, March 30, 2012


really kills.
and i do im phobia with it.
screwed that!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

slow killer

now im feeling this way.
which should path should i choose to?
this is way more killing then whatever was it.



Friday, March 9, 2012

another offer

thanks chef and calley.
get another offer.
which i hope is mine.
Please be SMOOTH my GOD.
i begged.

Monday, March 5, 2012


yes,from the title above.
wanna stepout but scare and lil bit of hate of.
courages from the heart needed.
hate for being that chicken.
cant i just remove that "chicken" nerve from me?
need it badly.